If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
