the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
