Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
