i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
