Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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