i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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