What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
