dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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