She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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