He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
