i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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