Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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