She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
