Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need to sanitize my soul.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
