so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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