I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
