so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
