I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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