with your own penis?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
