Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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