dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
