Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
