I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
