Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
