My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
