About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
