was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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