are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
