Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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