Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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