Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
