Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
