He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He did a backflip because drugs
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
