Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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