Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
