her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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