Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
