Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
