You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
