you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
