His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
