either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
