Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
