READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
