I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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