Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
