yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
