After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
