I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
