Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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