btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
