Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
