It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
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